The following blogpost is written by Amanda Stutz, a powerful and transformative therapist who understands well the temptations one feels their own emotions find no container. It is as if the ability to regulate or tolerate the circumstance is not there. Or the belief that we are indeed separate when we are not. Amanda Stutz participated in and learned from Clayton Yoga Teacher Training, in addition to her prior work in Surf the Urge just how to help others regulate.
When slowing down, we reconnect to our breath and our body offering us two very practical means in developing our own interpretation of wholeness and healing. This is the first of two upcoming blogposts Amanda describes her precious insight into the nature of our triggers and how we can work with them.
“To stand in the sea, immersed in the water, at the mercy of the powerful surf, is awe-inspiring and incredibly humbling. To be surrounded by the vastness of the ocean and see the power of the waves, can cause one to pause. To splash about near the beach, being playful, and experiencing the water can be fun and exhilarating, but may leave one wanting to experience more. It may leave you with a desire to swim out further, explore the depths of the ocean and have a different kind of adventure. Leaving the comforts of the beach can evoke fear as the waves hurl themselves toward you, sometimes engulfing you, leaving you at the mercy of the ocean.
This is really a metaphor for life. Sometimes in life we are faced with a problem that may seem vast and overwhelming. We may be able to look at the problem from a safe distance- clearly able to see solutions, seek out help when needed, and use the resources available to us.
Sometimes, however, we feel immersed in the depths our problems and feel like we’re drowning. In these times we may have urges to do what we must to survive. Sometimes giving into these urges can be problematic and only contribute further to the problem. When overwhelmed by emotions, one may numb their pain with alcohol, food, or other substances. When life becomes too much and a distraction is needed, one may have the urge to gamble, shop, engage in risky behaviors, or be drawn to unhealthy relationships.
Just as we can learn to surf the waves of the ocean, to prevent ourselves from being engulfed by the waves, we can also learn to “surf the urge” to prevent ourselves from being engulfed by our problems and the unhealthy coping mechanisms many of us struggle with.
“Urge surfing” is a term created by Adam Marlatt, who developed a relapse prevention program for individuals struggling with substance addiction. Surfing the urge is about utilizing mindfulness techniques to notice our thoughts, feelings, and urges without acting on them. When we can notice our thoughts, how our thoughts are contributing to our emotional experience, and the urges we have as a result of these uncomfortable internal experiences, we can choose to sit with the discomfort, until the intensity of our thoughts and emotions decrease and the urge to react dissipates.”
To book an appointment or set up a phone consultation with Amanda Stutz, call her at 314-375-6601. To find more information about Clayton Yoga Teacher Training, call us 314-630-1677 . Namaste!
Interesting article. I had never heard of urge surfing before this.
I found this metaphor to be spot on. My family and I just recently came back from a vacation to the beach. The area which we were at had one side that was very calm. The waves were almost nonexistent due to a rock wall formation about 50 yards out. Just on the other side of the beach was a rip tide. I couldn’t believe how in just a matter of minutes you could go from an area of calmness and serenity to an area of chaos and danger. I do believe this is how life is. “Urge surfing” is learning how to find balance between the circumstances that we are dealt in life. Thanks for this blog post. It was a wonderful read.